333 Ways to Kill Time during a State Meeting
by Dakota William-Jones
Summary: Parody of 333 way to get kick out of Walmart or the Hetalia version of it. This one features the states and sometimes the nations.
1. Chapter 1

The states are from my story State Powers so some have humans now, others not yet. I hope you enjoy this. If you know a way that any state can intrupt a meeting PM or review.

* * *

1\. **Ye****lling  you're more awesome than everyone else in the room in the middle of the meeting:**

"Now on to the topic of the new rules of immigrants that are coming from...yes Penny?" D.C raise his eyebrow as Pennsylvania stands up. He watches as Penny brushes her white bangs back. Her ruby eyes shining with mischief ass he clears her throat.

"I just want to add to that... I'M AWESOMER THAN ANY OF YOU UNAWESOME PEOPLE IN HERE!" Penny fist pumps the air as she sits back down.

"Penny you have 5 seconds before I slam your head in with a skillet," Ohio states as he stands behind Pennsylvania with a skillet that Oklahoma handed him. "Ein...Zwei...Drei..."

America walks into the meeting to see Ohio slamming Pennsylvania's head with a skillet. Sighing as he rubs his forehead before exiting. Wishing he had normal children.

2\. S**caring the younger ones:**

"Ora what have I told you about scaring the younger one with your special effects!" Emma hold Lee and a young boy with a dark tan. He had dark brown hair that clashes with his light blue eyes." Hush now Lee and Rico. It's okay."

"How was I supposed to know they were there when I was cutting my guts out from my new movie," California huffs as she cleans up the fake blood from the floor.

3\. **Groping Maryland's 'Wife':**

"You better run South, or else I will chop off those frenchie hands of yours from touching my wife!" Maryland screams as he cocks his shotgun. Tossing his hunting knife at South Dakota as he hides behind a tree in the backyard. It misses as it lounge in the bark.

"I promise I won't touch your wife ever again!" South runs as Maryland growls.

"I aren't his wife!" Virginia blush as North Dakota pats her hand.

"At least you're 'married' to him, others believe I was dating Alaska, or even Texas." North shudder at the thought. She covers her mouth in a cup shape. "Run South! Run! He's behind you!"

"Thanks a lot smartie! I didn't know that!"

4\. **Try to** **overload** **California's** **head** **with** **perverted** **thoughts**:

"Do not try to explain to me why Ora is bleeding all over the carpet while twitching," America sighs as he face palms.

Texas pokes his sister with a stick as he looks at the Carolina twins. "How long?"

"20 minutes I believed," South Carolina shrugs as she looks to her twin. Her short blonde hair curling up as she tilts her head.

"Was it before the three some with Dad, Uncle Canada, and Russia? Or after the pairing of France, England, and Dad?" North Carolina ask as she hugs her twin. Their green eyes shining with mischief.

"I'm going to call Matthew for a drink to erase what I just heard." Alfred face palms as he walks out of the meeting as the twins giggle.

5\. **Have** **an** **argument** **about** **magical** **friends**:

"Flying Strawberry Bunny is a lot better than your stupid pixie!" New York points at his shorter sister.

"Pixie Doll is more powerful than that bunny!" Rhode Island crosses her arms as she pouts.

"Akota, who do you think has the most powerful friend?" Newt looks at North Dakota as she reads a book underneath the table.

"Him." She points to Alaska as she returns to her book. "He has General Winter."

"Kalkal, does New York and Tiny want to become one with me?" Kimo pulls out a lead pipe." Or are you challenge me to a magic dual?"

Texas walks in a few moments later with Iceland to see New York and Rhode Island in one corner shivering and muttering about now. "Do I want to know?"

"Nope," Akota pulls him and Iceland out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

6\. Allow New England States to make snacks for the Nations Meeting:

"Eh? This even edible?" Matthew picks up a brunt looking thing. "Is this a rock?"

"Hey bro! You can use as a hockey puck." Alfred laughs as he slaps Matthew back as he plays catch with one of the scones.

"Japan! Are you alright?" Italy shakes Japan as he starts forming at the mouth with his eyes roll back into his head. He drops one of the burnt cupcake that he took a bite out of on to the floor.

"I don't see what the bloody problem is. They're delicious ." England takes another bite into his scone.

7\. Discuss Pirates V.S Wizards:

Alfred opens the door to the State meeting to see some of the States hiding in the corner beneath tables and chairs. Face palming when he sees The Carolinas holding their wands and wearing their black capes as they glare at Florida and California their old pirate gear. New England were cheering the Carolinas on as the South cheer on Florida and California.

"Pirates are better than stupid magic users!" FLorida hisses as she slash her slaber through the air. She tilts her red hat as she spits at Carolinas' feet.

"Wizards and Witches can defeat pirates any day," North Carolina snarls as South crosses her arms.

Turning to Alfred they glare at him. THey point at the other as they snarl curses at each other.

"Which one is better dad?!" They hiss as Alfred stands there for a moment before speaking.

"Vikings." Alfred's eye widen as his children glare at him as they four start pulling out swords. He runs out screaming like a girl.

8\. Ask Wyoming if she has gay cowboys:

"I would like to say my state has been doing great since the recent level of cattle." Wyoming points to her chart as she looks over the crowd. Most of her sibling were sleeping. Her green eyes dulling as she starts talking about cows.

"Hey...Hey Mexy...Mexy...MEXY!" Mexy, aka New Mexico turns to his brother, Colorado who had a cigar in his hand. "How much will it cost for you to stand up and ask her if she has gay cowboys?"

"250, plus hospital bills." Mexy states plainly as he crosses his arms. "Also yell Mexico is coming to get Texas piss off."

"Alright," Colorado smirks as he hands over 250 bucks as he watches Mexy stand up with a heavy sigh.

Alfred looks at his cellphone to see he has a text from Delaware. Reading it his face makes friends with the table as Matthew looks at his text. Soon he also joins his brother as they wonder why Mexy had to ask that question. Now with 112 gunshot wounds with rope burns, he was resting in the hospital.

9\. Start a fire in the middle of the meeting:

"Shush D.C, shush, it's alright. Uncle and grandpa's not trying to set you on fire again." Virginia cooes at D.C as he hugs her neck tightly crying for Alfred.

"Massachusetts what were you thinking when you did that fire spell around D.C?" Maryland hiss as he holds BOston's shirt in his hand as he had his fist raise.

"It was an accident?" Boston looks sheepish as he shrugs. "It's been what years since War of 1812, isn't he over it?"

"Time to pay little England," Maryland smiles evilly as Boston pales.

After a hour, Alfred enters the room to see Boston pin up with tiny swords wearing a pink tutu with a long blonde wig. His face was cover in make-up as he's passed out.

10\. Catch North Dakota's garden on fire:

"Should you been at the meeting?" Boston backs away quickly as the flames seem to dance in Akota's eyes as she smile at him. He shrieks as she raise a bloody hockey stick with barbed wire around it. He starts running as she starts giggle. "I didn't mean to catch your sunflowers on fire!"

"They were for Kimo!" Akota swings at at his head.

Matthew and Alfred watches as Akota swings at Boston's head as they ran past. They sip lemonade as they sat on the porch barefooted.

"Honey, you're swinging to early! Wait till his head is in sight!" Matthew shouts as Alfred shrugs.

"Make sure you clean up after, I don't want the blood to stain in your clothes again AKota." Alfred tilts his head as they disappear around the corner.

* * *

I hope you enjoy this update! Please review if you have an idea of how to kill time and which state you want to see next.


	3. Chapter 3

11\. Turning the most powerful states into toddlers:

"North Carolina, why in the world would you even knew that spell?" Alfred watches as North Dakota bites South Dakota on the head has he runs around the room screaming about his hair that is now ruin. "Someone get little Dakota off of her brother!"

"But daddy, these meetings are a bore." North Coralina cross her arms. She smiles at him as she points to backwards. "Alaska need help."

"Da, you are so cute!" Russia smile happily which scared the Baltic countries as he hugs Alaska tightly. "Become one with me again!"

"Dad!" Toddler Alaska screams as he tries to get out of the death grip. "A little help here!"

"Russia, this is a state meeting...why are you guys here?" America looks around as he watches England gather little Virginia in his arm as she screams bloody murder. "Never mind don't want to know."

Texas was being smother in Mexico's chest as she squeals in Spanish on how cute he is. He pass out the moment she let go.

12\. Losing bets to the most quiet State:

"So Penny was poking fun of Wash, then she stab the cloud above his head with a stick which Louisiana give her, this correct?" Wisconsin watch as a giant group of Columbus clouds are chasing Pennsylvania.

"Yep," the Carolina twins nod in sync as they smirk. "Bowling before she is zap?"

"I bet 2 minutes!" Nevada lays down a twenty on the table.

"I bet 25 seconds," Ora lays down another twenty.

"3 minutes," Nebraska quietly states as he drops another.

"35 seconds," South Dakota lays down his bet.

"Anyone else?" The twins smile as they count up the cash. "Let the count down begin."

The one who made the groan as they with their money be given to Nebraska as he smiles politely at them. Penny limps over and she drops on the floor tirely. Her clothes were burnt and smelly as she throws her hands up.

"Never piss of the clouds."

13\. Don't piss off the clouds:

"You would have thought Penny learn her lesson from last month." North Dakota sighs as she watches her elder sister ran away from a giant cloud monster throwing lightning bolts at her. "I did not know Washington had powers to change clouds into monsters."

"You can never know from the quiet ones." Massachusetts sips his coffee as he smiles. "They are the most powerful."

North Dakota shrugs as Washington giggles evil beside Alaska as they here on the cloud monster.

14\. Miscalculation on Spell-ing:

"This is why I not allowing the Magic Trio over on the holidays!" Alfred slams his head into his hands as he cries. "South Dakota, please stop groping people in your sister's body!"

"Stop groping my boobs!" 'South Dakota' smacks her upside the head as he glares at he. He flicks his short hair as if it was longer. "Or else I will do the most unforgettable thing to your body."

"You wouldn't!" 'North Dakota' let go of his boobs, or visit his sister's boobs. "North Carolina, how's the redoing the spell going?"

"It's a lot harder than it seems," 'South Carolina' glares at Massachusetts. "If someone hadn't jam the toe fungus into the pot to hide it from Maine, we wouldn't be in this mess."

"How was I supposed to know you were chanting!" Massachusetts shrugs as both twins glare at him. "Sometimes dad's carelessness takes over."

15\. Who are you:

"Who are you again?" Maine raise his bushy eyebrows as Vermont slams his head against the wall.

"I'm your brother Vermont!" Vermont holds his beaver close as he stares at all the blank faces in the room. "The one next to New Hampshire?"

Everyone's face was blank still as his beaver looks at him.

"Who are you?" The beaver stares up at its owner.

"I'm Vermont, your owner." He shakes his head as the beaver oh.

"What...Who are you?"

Alfred opens the door to chaos, chairs were smash against the wall. Most of the states were knock out as they on the floor. Vermont was chasing the rest around the room with a hockey stick. Sighing as he close the door, and goes back to the lounge.


End file.
